Um. What? NONE of those things are remotely radical, or even interesting. The only reason people are praising this guy's very mundane ideas is because they're comparing him to all the other fucked up, religious zealots that used to be the pope. Sending rapists to prison? WOAH. WHAT A BOLD FUCKING STANCE. He must have got a lot of backlash for that one. Not wearing $500 shoes? Uh, I've never worn $500 shoes in my life, can I be pope now? And as for not being judgmental of gays... Well, he still refuses to acknowledge gay marriage as being legitimate. And, by the way, he also said that as long as he is pope, he will never allow women to become priests because it's a sin.
So from there, my job as a comedian is to strip down the excess fat, find the funniest parts, and deliver it in a way that's palpable to an audience. I had many different incarnations of the final joke, but they all pretty much had those basic ideas. One of the punchlines I used was "I've been anti-child rape since I understood the concept of CHILD RAPE. Nobody's giving me a fucking medal."
That line got applause breaks some nights and groans other nights.
So I bid you adieu shitty joke! Comics, take your suggestions and shove them right up your ass! I'm on to bigger and better(?) bits! Rest in Peace to another dead joke.
"The Pope Bit"